Yesterday had some low moments.
I was semi-arguing with Danny about where we are going to live when we finally get to settle down after dental school and then the army. Dan wants to stay in California, I feel like life will be over if we don't end up somewhere in the South, preferably on the coast. Even though for us to end up in the South, Dan would have to take ANOTHER board exam because the one he's taking only certifies him to practice in the western U.S. (Seriously?? Why isn't there ONE national exam? So lame.)
It's really kind of silly that I was getting so worked up about it, because honestly, we don't need to decide this for like seven years. But home is such an important thing in my life, and I realized I've become almost obsessed with this fantasy-future life I have pictured in my head.
But the thing is, you can't plan for every little detail in your future. It's one thing to have goals, but they need to fit my reality. And the reality is that my life won't be over just because I'm living in a state I didn't picture myself in (unless that state is Texas...no offense if you love Texas, it's just not my cup of tea). As someone who moved around a lot growing up, you think I would remember that where you live doesn't determine your happiness, your attitude does. And my attitude was far from where it needed to be yesterday. So, I guess I wouldn't die if I lived in Texas, or if we stayed in California. What really matters is that wherever I go, I remember home is the place where I can carve out a special space for me and mine. As long as I'm laughing with these two cuties (and any future cuties we decide to add), it doesn't matter where we are, just that we are all there together. I know that's kind of cheesy, but just because it's cheesy doesn't mean it's not true.
So, I'm sorry for my attitude yesterday, it was far from joie de vivre. Life is to be enjoyed, not suffered through, and yesterday reminded me of that.
By the way, Dan, this isn't a surrender; Florida and North Carolina are still on the top of my list, so just take that into consideration when planning your fantasy-future life. =)