In case you missed the facebook announcement on my birthday: I'm pregnant! 13 weeks and five days.
Thanks to genetics, I've been a very sickly pregnant woman. Fortunately, I've been getting better, but I still have my moments. Like this morning, driving to work.
[fyi, this might become one of those stories where you say, Lauren, this is just tmi, and I can't handle it. If morning sickness grosses you out, stop reading now.]
One of my fears since I started getting sick is that I would start to get sick on the freeway while driving to work and have no where to pull over and die in a car accident due to the large amounts of projectile vomit spewing forth from my mouth. Death by throw-up. Not the way I want to go.
The funny thing is, I wasn't that worried about it today. Sure, I felt a little queasy, but that's normal until about lunch time. I was jamming out to Regina Spektor, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this huge belch finds its way out of my digestive system. It tasted like cheerios. And right then and there, I knew I was going to be barfing in a matter of moments. I was still two exits away from my office. No problem, I thought, I'll just hold it down. It'll be fine. I can get through this. Except those gross, pregnant, cheerio-infused burps kept finding their way to the surface. And then my gag reflex started kicking in. Once that happened, I knew I was a goner, and suddenly, my breakfast was in my mouth. Just sitting there. Because I wasn't about to let half-digested cheerios get all over my clothes. Before I got off the freeway, one more dose of breakfast had joined the party in my mouth.
Mercifully, the light was red when I got off the freeway. Only then I realized I'd forgotten to bring a trusty barf-bag with me to finish the deed. BUT then I remembered the two Vons bags full of snacks for work in the back seat. I reached back, dumped out the popcorn, goldfish, and lean cuisines I'd stocked up on, and pulled that heavenly piece of plastic towards me. I think you can guess the rest of this part of the story. Then, I picked up my plastic bag of unmentionables, to move it and its horrific smell to the passenger side and away from me...only to discover that, SURPRISE, there was a hole in the bottom of the bag. So all that nice slobber that had been accumulating in my mouth with the cheerios had leaked onto my lap. So yeah, I threw-up, but I looked like I had wet my pants.
How was your morning?