In case you missed the facebook announcement on my birthday: I'm pregnant! 13 weeks and five days.
Thanks to genetics, I've been a very sickly pregnant woman. Fortunately, I've been getting better, but I still have my moments. Like this morning, driving to work.
[fyi, this might become one of those stories where you say, Lauren, this is just tmi, and I can't handle it. If morning sickness grosses you out, stop reading now.]
One of my fears since I started getting sick is that I would start to get sick on the freeway while driving to work and have no where to pull over and die in a car accident due to the large amounts of projectile vomit spewing forth from my mouth. Death by throw-up. Not the way I want to go.
The funny thing is, I wasn't that worried about it today. Sure, I felt a little queasy, but that's normal until about lunch time. I was jamming out to Regina Spektor, minding my own business, when all of a sudden this huge belch finds its way out of my digestive system. It tasted like cheerios. And right then and there, I knew I was going to be barfing in a matter of moments. I was still two exits away from my office. No problem, I thought, I'll just hold it down. It'll be fine. I can get through this. Except those gross, pregnant, cheerio-infused burps kept finding their way to the surface. And then my gag reflex started kicking in. Once that happened, I knew I was a goner, and suddenly, my breakfast was in my mouth. Just sitting there. Because I wasn't about to let half-digested cheerios get all over my clothes. Before I got off the freeway, one more dose of breakfast had joined the party in my mouth.
Mercifully, the light was red when I got off the freeway. Only then I realized I'd forgotten to bring a trusty barf-bag with me to finish the deed. BUT then I remembered the two Vons bags full of snacks for work in the back seat. I reached back, dumped out the popcorn, goldfish, and lean cuisines I'd stocked up on, and pulled that heavenly piece of plastic towards me. I think you can guess the rest of this part of the story. Then, I picked up my plastic bag of unmentionables, to move it and its horrific smell to the passenger side and away from me...only to discover that, SURPRISE, there was a hole in the bottom of the bag. So all that nice slobber that had been accumulating in my mouth with the cheerios had leaked onto my lap. So yeah, I threw-up, but I looked like I had wet my pants.
How was your morning?
8 comments:
oh my heck- your dad used to be able to point out all the places along the road where I had to stop and throw up- like the 91 freeway, on the way to the doctor. And yes I was pregnant with you:) karma? perhaps. Of course I could probably tell a story about each of your siblings as well!
I think I am going to buy more birth control now....something about this story and teaching children all day makes me really frightened of children.
I did laugh, but I hope this doesn't pass along to me.
this is the best story! and my morning was uneventful, thanks for asking. congrats once again, i seriously am so excited for you guys!!
Oh Lauren.. LOL (literally) That sounds like no fun :(
Oh my gosh. Funniest story ever. And I am so sorry. Hahahah I love you.
Oh, this brings back such horrible 'throw-up' memories of my pregnancies!
I will be the one to tell you like it is... that is Disgusting! I'm pretty sure I was gagging the whole time I read it! I'm sorry about the pregnancy woes but you will love the final result! Happy days Lauren!
OH MY GOSH. This is just the best story ever. I feel so sorry about the last part. that must have been HORRIFIC. But still, I'm sure you'll start getting your pregnancy glow soon!
Belly B :)
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